We’ve all been there. We’ve all compared ourselves to the someone – to friends, family, idolising people we’ve never even met. We compare tiniest of our persona; ”flaws” to the greatest of achievements of other people. Thus, a negative belief system is made, such as: ”he or she is better, smarter, more beautiful, more successful, more intelligent, more creative, more lovable than me”. The soul-destroying, meaningless list of illusionary beliefs goes on and on. There’s no wonder the world is suffering a dramatic surge of human insecurities and low self-esteem, especially with the toxic influx of adverts and social media falsities. Women in particular are subjected to consistent images of phoney beauty on how to look, act and live. This in an attempt to distract people away from the truth of what really matters in life. We live in a physical world so it’s hard not to make material comparisons. However, in order to achieve true happiness – the non-serving comparisons have to go.

 

the serenity healer

 

Positive Reality Killer

 

Throughout our entire lives, our ego has the innate tendency to indulge in the emotion of comparison, and for what? For potential happiness? For some strange paradoxical self-sabotaging gratification? I guess we will never truly know the reasoning behind our endless non-serving tendencies to compare ourselves to others. However, there is one thing that is for certain. Comparing ourselves to others will literally destroy the quality of our reality in every way possible; mentally, physically, creatively and spiritually. Comparing kills our dignity, our connections to others and ourselves, our passion, and our drive for life.

How often have you compared yourself to others in ways and actually experienced a positive emotion in return? How often have you compared yourself and subsequently felt more positive about yourself? Probably never. Unless of course the comparison is reversed, meaning that you are comparing yourself to the next person and putting yourself on a pedestal. However, this falls under the category of judgement, as all you are doing is judging your limited knowledge of someone else in a negative way for self-gratification and for the ego’s non-serving pride. Again, it’s imperative we become aware of our judgements in order for us to come back to love and compassion, and thus internal happiness.

 

the serenity healer

 

Become Inspired Without Comparison

 

Don’t get confused with inspiration; comparison and inspiration are two totally different human emotions. You can become inspired by someone through something they’ve accomplished, be it something creative, an achievement or a particular goal that you would also like to accomplish. However, it is important in the process you are not belittling yourself in any way shape or form. Thus you are maintaining your own self-worth and integrity through the act of self-love and non self-judgement, whilst gaining ideas from others around you to develop and expand your own reality. This is completely ok and life is full of inspiration wherever we turn. However, comparing and lowering our own self-worth is where the damage takes place.

 

‘Nobody is smarter than you are. And what if they are? What good is their understanding doing you?’ – Terence Mckenna

 

Changing Our Habits

 

Like most non-serving thoughts, we have become addicted to comparing. The process of comparison has been imbedded into our psyché from a young age – so like all other forms of addiction, the process is exactly the same when trying to overcome negative comparison. We have become addicted to the thought-process! Therefore we must recognise when we are  ourselves to others in order to reverse the thought and create a new, higher vibrational statement to ourselves. Instead of comparing and lowering ourselves, become inspired to make a change for the better. We are all unique individuals with varying attributes and talents, and with different stories, backgrounds and experiences.

 

 

Fundamentally, we are all here for the same purpose and that is to become our most authentic versions, using the unique talents and qualities we’ve been individually given. If we were all achieving the same goals, looking the same, doing the same things in life, the world and our reality would be completely dull and boring. Variety is a necessity in the cycle of life and what keeps the world and exciting place. We are living in the most exciting time that has ever existed on planet earth and our time is extremely limited – we really haven’t got time to compare ourselves to others. Instead we need to focus on improving our inner world and in turn, serving others.

 

The Map Of Consciousness

 

The act of comparison comes under the emotion of fear and desire. On David Hawkins’ Map Of Consciousness as seen below, we can see that fear and desire are vibrationally low emotions that interrupt our natural birthright state of flow through consciousness. When we live in a state of fear, there is no room for wholeness, love or peace. Therefore, the recognition of comparison, when we find ourselves doing it, is imperative for our wellbeing and happiness.  The more we can catch our thoughts when comparing to others, the more we can live in a state of oneness – in union. Thus, we start recognising that we are all just mere reflections of one another. In the process we will learn how to live from the heart-space by celebrating our own achievements and attributes and thus creating our birthright of freedom and happiness.

 

the serenity healer

 

It All Comes Down To One Thing

 

As with everything else on this path to enlightenment and remembering who we truly are, it all comes down to the fundamental practice of gratitude, self-love and acceptance. Gratitude for what we already have, an abundance of persistent unconditional self-love, and acceptance of where we are right here, right now. By focusing on the more beautiful treasures of life, we can override the desire for comparison.

By accepting yourself, loving yourself wholeheartedly and appreciating all that is, you can transcend the limited views of the ego that attempt to compare to others. By focusing on love, selflessness, giving to others and being gentle to yourself in every way, we are able to see others achievements, success and beauty as just a part of life to be celebrated and not used for comparison. We have all been put together on this planet at exactly the same time for greater purposes that expand beyond our singular experience. So instead of belittling ourselves against others, we should be working alongside one another; becoming inspired whilst being more loving and compassionate.

 

the serenity healer

 

Step Away From The Screens

 

If the comparison struggle continues, one major tip to consider in todays’ technology-driven society, is to reduce time spent on social media. The majority of what is placed on such platforms not only creates toxicity in the mind, leading to low self-esteem, it also distracts us away from our higher purpose. Consider un-following pages and people whom you knowingly compare yourself to in a negative way, and who don’t inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

 

Vision Boards & Gratitude Journal

Another powerful process to keep us focused on our own path and successes, is to create a clear vision board of your dreams and desires. Keep the board in clear-view and focus on it daily. By doing so, you will store the visions, images and messages in the sub-conscious mind, allowing manifestation of your desires to occur with greater ease.

Write down 10 things every morning that you are grateful for. Not only will this practice set you up for a high-vibrational experience, you are also able to acknowledge the amazing things you already have in your life. Allowing you to attract even more magic!

 

The Journey Is Only With Ourselves

 

In the end, the journey is only within ourselves. The only person we need to compare ourselves to is .. ourselves! Compare your past self with your present self and notice achievements and areas of growth. That way, we can set ourselves tailored goals for our life, and become the unique individual we were put here on Earth to be. Additionally, this can help us to feel deeper sense of contentment, connection and realisation of the self, whilst celebrating and congratulating how far we’ve already come in our own personal journey.